For many years, I prided my perfectionist tendencies. "What's wrong with wanting to be perfect?" I wonder. It is not "perfect", a word wonderful, positive? Do not people remember gymnast Nadia Comaneci for her perfect ten? Why settle for B when you can get one, for "good" when you could be "better"?
And that perfectionism served me in many ways. I did very well in
school. He loved reading because I was so good, and writing
because of the quality and recognition I received from my English
teachers and friends. I used my drive to be perfect as a compass for where I wanted my life to go, if I was good at something (and
received praise for it), I stuck with it. Otherwise, I fell like the proverbial hot potato.
Take the art. Since I could hold a crayon, I liked to draw.
Although I had no formal art education, I experimented with
watercolor, chalk, ink, charcoal and acrylic paints from childhood through adolescence. My mother has not only put my picture on the fridge - some of them framed. I thought it was intended to design greeting cards and illustrate children's books is ... until the tenth grade, when I took an art teacher who gave me a C for the course. I never took art at school again, or I have a career as a commercial artist.
Writing, on the other hand, has always brought me good grades,
praise and satisfaction, therefore, more than any other activity, skill or subject. Thus, long before high school diploma, I had my mind set to be a writer.
But soon I knew that my perfectionism also prove the biggest obstacle to my writing dream for many years. Far from being a "wonderful" or "positive character trait, hold me, insulted me, scolded me, filled me with guilt, mocked my ardent desire to be a writer. Without teachers stroke my ego and constantly provide me with the encouragement I need so much, I fumbled and delayed, fought and avoided.
It took a long time for me to understand the real reason I have not been
writing. I blamed it on lack of discipline, or lack of time, or
occasionally came to the conclusion that perhaps I did not want to be a writer. Then I stumble across an old story or an essay I had written to recognize the skill and talent there, remember the joy and satisfaction that I found in the process of writing and writing for publication to another go.
Yet nothing was ever perfect enough to submit. Or those rare
occasions when I sent a query or a story for consideration, I have seen every rejection as a confirmation that I was not good enough. Months, sometimes years, it would be before I tried again.
You can try to see these words? Your own perfectionism
block you, freeze you, prevent you from submitting your work or your ideas?
Believe me when I say this - perfectionism is * not * a friend of a writer. If I had continued to succumb to this trend, I never knew the joy and satisfaction of getting articles published, would never have started my newsletter for writers, or built my website. If you're a perfectionist, too, and this feature allows you to run your life, neither will you.
Because perfectionism is a syndrome rooted in a childlike desire to please and be seen, there are no quick solutions or easy solutions to overcome it. Moreover, even if you do win to complete a project, will raise its ugly head to thwart the other - I have several half-finished projects that confirm it. However, I also have some guidelines that can help you kick your habit perfectionist, or at least come to terms with it again and again:
1. Expose the beast through writing - Write about your
perfectionism in your journal, or write an essay about your
experiences with it. How has your life hampered in the past,
stopped pursuing the things you loved? Where did this
tendency is, as it has evolved? Are you willing to allow this to continue to sap a sudden passion and enthusiasm of your life?
3. Catch yourself thinking that you or your business needs
be "better" and instead merely seek to "make _your_ best." Strive
not perfection, but the best you can do. Then add your
best work, and go to the next project without looking back.
Over time, sending your "work" out of imperfect and focus on the next book, story or article will be easier and easier - and your writing will always be better.
4. Constantly remember why you want to write in the first
place. Try to write just for the sheer joy of it, or reach out to a certain type of person or audience, or to capture an 'idea, emotion, belief, memory, character or scene.
Perfectionism and writing, like oil and water do not mix - the first will do nothing to hinder the second, they make you doubt your personal talent, and often suck your writing enthusiasm and energy of dry bones. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, to experiment and explore your writing and the practice of the profession, to send your best efforts for consideration. You will find the very act of trying much more satisfying and rewarding that need to be perfect.
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